Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Criminal Profiling Topic of the Day: Are You with a Psychopath?

Stephen Grant has confessed to murdering his wife, Tara. The man who said he has no conscience turns out to be the one who did his wife in. What a surprise! (not) This sad ending to Tara Lynn Grant should be a warning to all those young women or men out there planning to marry someone with concerning behaviors, behaviors they should not be ignoring or minimizing. Just because a person is capable of keeping a job, telling a joke, saying "I love you" and doing other sorts of seemingly normal behaviors does not mean he or she is a mentally healthy human being. This person without a third eye or a horns protruding may be a psychopath playing a role, the role of a boyfriend or girlfriend, a husband or wife, or a father or mother. The key phrase here is "playing a role" as one cannot actually act the part twenty-four hours a day. There are those moments when a psychopath forgets to be on stage and acts like his or her true self. Stephen Grant is a good example of this. In the beginning when this story hit the news, we heard the usual shocked statements by people who knew him. "I can't believe he would do this!" and "We never saw him as a danger." But, as usual when as the shock wears off and people who knew him actually start reflecting on the creep's past behaviors, they start to admit the signs of psychopathy were there, if only they had known they were psychopathic signs and had not denied their importance. How much heartache could have been prevented if Tara or her family and friends had seen Stephen Grant for what he was early on.

So, to all of you in relationships out there who are considering making them a permanent part of your lives, ask yourself, "Does this person do or say things that are inappropriate? Does this person lie to me or tell me questionable stories? Does he or she have grandiose thinking, either glorifying past events that never really happened or have big plans for the future that never are implemented? Does this person have problems in relationships with others, blaming them for all kinds of issues that have cropped up? Does he or she have problems with employment, getting fired or working in jobs that are obviously below his or her abilities? Is this person you are thinking of marrying actually a manipulative, self-centered person who actually is not all that well-liked by others? Have people ask why you are with this person and if they point out their concerns, do you defend him 0r her and justify each one of their questionable behaviors? If this sounds like you, spend a little extra time reading up on psychopaths and when you realize this is the type of person who you are hanging around with, run, run quickly before you end up in pieces on the garage floor like poor Tara Lynn Grant. Don't be so desperate to have someone in your life that you end up losing your life in the process.

6 comments:

Susie said...

Pat,
Your article on psychopaths was excellent! I had one at work so I read 'Power Freaks' by David L. Weiner. Amazingly he described this nut perfectly but the author's solution was to "suck it up" or "pretend you like them" or get a new job. I stood my ground and got kicked out of the unit, but the psychopath got fired for beating up a child...twice.
Susie

Criminal Profiler Pat Brown said...

Wow, Suzie! I admire your courage to stand up for what is right. If we all paid attention to concerning behaviors and stood up to those who commit them, we would live in a lot safer world. Psychopaths will still be psychopaths but they will know that we will not tolerate them crossing the line. As it stands now, the we give them so much freedom to get away with most anything, they know they can and will then do whatever they feel like doing. Pat

Ronni said...

I've linked this entry and quoted it at http://ronnisrants.blogspot.com. I hope you don't mind. If I'm out of line to do this, please let me know, and I will remove it. I think it's an excellent analysis, and I've been doing a series on abusive boyfriends, etc.

It's a personal, rather than a crime blog, but I do occasionally go off on a rant.

Investigator Donna Weaver said...

Ronni wrote:

I've linked this entry and quoted it at http://ronnisrants.blogspot.com. I hope you don't mind. If I'm out of line to do this, please let me know, and I will remove it. I think it's an excellent analysis, and I've been doing a series on abusive boyfriends, etc.

It's a personal, rather than a crime blog, but I do occasionally go off on a rant.


Ronni,

No we don't mind at all, as long as the blog and author are credited--in fact we appreciate it! Thank you very much for your interest and comments. We are happy to add you to the Daily Profiler's link list as well.

Best wishes,

Donna

Ronni said...

I've added you in my links, as well. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

This is great advice. I married a psychopath, but didn't recognize the extent of his sadistic destructiveness until he attempted to kill me in a 'perfect crime' manner. Had I died, he would have gotten away with it. Then again, even though I've lived, he's gotten away with it as well.

Until one has an experience with this type of person and gets a glimpse behind the mask, I think it's impossible to really understand the danger.