Out on August 15, 2012 |
When Christian Killed Ana
Christian gazes down at me from above, my hands tied behind my head to the bed rail with that grey tie of his, my ankles bound with rope to the side rails at the foot. His expression is unreadable but as my eyes shift from his face to his chest and then to those jeans of his hanging deliciously off his hips, my inner goddess jumps for joy; heat rushes down there and I squirm desperately as I wait for Christian to touch me. Oh, shit, he is so hot.
He runs his hands through that slightly tousled hair of his.
"I'm bored with you, Ana," he says quietly.
I am stunned. How can he be bored with me? I have done everything he wanted, minus a few items I put a line through on the contract.
"But we have only been together a couple of months, Sir!" I had thought I was different then the train of other women he had been through. "I thought I was special."
Christian actually laughs. "Special? What would you think I would find so special about you?" He admonishes me. "You are a mildly attractive run-of-the-mill college girl with nothing particularly alluring or interesting about you."
Tears flood my eyes. "But, Sir, you said I was special, different, that you had never had vanilla sex or slept the night with anyone but me!"
"And you believed me, you little fool." He smirks. "Why don't you bite your lower lip again? You really think that drives me mad for you, don't you? It doesn't do anything but make me hate you." He reaches out out with both hands and grabs my nipples, twisting them cruelly. I yelp with pain.
Christian looks at me with disdain. "You don't think I have told each one of my girls how adorable they are? Don't you realize I told every one the same stupid things that I told you? You are all so easy to dupe." He sighs. "All of you who think you are going to be the one. You are going to change me. From what? From myself? I like myself just the way I am." He leans in and snickers. "Do you know, my dear Anastasia, that I was never abused as a child? Not once. But, oh, how easy it was to make you feel so sorry for me."
My inner goddess curls up into a ball. I feel sweat break out on my forehead. Panic starts rising in my chest. I look into the eyes of Christian Grey and see nothing there at all, nothing. Everything I thought he might have been has vanished and I realize I have been living in a dream. Reality hits. I am tied up, hand and foot, alone with a sadistic psychopath, a snake, a demon.
Christian's face appears inches away from mine behind my wall of tears. "You know all those things that weren't in the contract? Well, today you get to do them all." He smiles, so coldly, so evilly. "I am going to use you as my toilet, I am going to put my fist up your ass, I am going to whip you until your body is covered with marks and listen to you scream until you have no voice left to scream with."
He leers at me and suddenly he is holding a razor sharp knife against my cheek. I feel searing pain and he pulls the blade back, red with my blood, oh god, my blood, my blood, and he licks it off with that tongue that I used to adore.
"I am going to cut that annoying bottom lip off of you."
I start screaming uncontrollably and the hell begins. I am just a young girl and I thought I had my whole life ahead of me. I now know that I have never known true love nor had anyone actually make love to me.Why I ever thought I should be treated in such a demeaning and ugly manner, I do not know. All I know is that now I have no choice; then I did. I should have run; I should never have trusted a stranger, a stalker, a sadist who told me he was so taken by me that he would never hurt me. How stupid I was.
I will not tell you each and everything that happened that day, the hours of terror, the hours of humiliation, the hours of unending pain. I will just tell you what I see from above my body, well, above the pieces of my body. My bottom lip that I always bit, he cut that off first. It was then I knew for sure I was going to die. Next he removed my breasts and then he put them to his chest and danced around with them while I gazed down at the gaping holes on my own body. I cannot go on and tell you what he did next, but when I felt the knife cut through my throat, I wished I had valued myself a whole lot more than I did the day I met that psycho Christian Grey.
He is now placing my legs and arms in a suitcase. What is left of my body, a torso is what I believe they call it, is lying in the center of the bed. I am not tied up anymore, I note ironically. My head, yes, that is my head with the bottom lip missing and the eyes gone from their sockets, it is laying where it was tossed, in the corner of the room, like an old soccer ball with some of the air missing from it.
Christian finishes packing up my parts and he takes them from the room. I see him drive off in his car, and when he returns a bit later, he showers and dresses, immaculately as always. He leaves again in his fine automobile and I follow him down the street. He pulls into an upscale pub and glides over to the marble bar. He seats himself next to a pretty blonde, college age. She turns her head and I can see she is immediately attracted to him.
"I'm Christian," he says softly and he takes her hand. She does not pull it back. I cannot watch any more.
Criminal Profiler Pat Brown
June 16, 2012
Pat
Brown’s ONLY THE TRUTH
Harkening back to the writing styles
of the earlier American authors – John Steinbeck, Harper Lee, and Carson
McCullers, "Only the Truth" is a story of soul searching, a
psychological mystery which examines the question, “Whom should one love and
when should one quit doing so?” Billy Ray, a lonely and rather slow, uneducated
African-American man living in the mountains of Arkansas, runs across a mysterious young woman
at the railroad tracks. She asks to go home with him and Billy Ray takes her
with him as she requests. He comes to love this woman, Charlene,
unconditionally. She is the only woman he has ever loved, and life is finally
good for Billy Ray. Then Charlene shoots the neighbor and burns down the
neighbor’s house. His happy life destroyed, a confused and devastated Billy Ray
is at a loss. Is the woman he loves “just a troubled girl” or a psychopathic
killer? Billy Ray sets out on a quest to find the truth, only the truth,
whether it leads him to be able to save Charlene from a death sentence or it
frees him from her spell.
Last try to comment on this blog. I seem to have been unable to proof I'm not a robot numerous times. These two words are maybe even to complicated and blurred for human beings ...
ReplyDeleteChâtelaine
Chatelaine,
ReplyDeleteThanks for trying to comment and letting me know about the word verification. I don't even know how and when that got turned on! I turned it off.
It's been there forever and never was easy, but of late it was next to impossible to decipher ...
ReplyDeleteNow I will try to remember what I wanted to write a couple of days ago ;-)
It was at any rate about agreeing completely and wholeheartedly with you!
I've known too many women, who suffer the "wrong choice of partner" syndrome. Beautiful, intelligent, witty, well-educated women, who every time and again think they will be able to "change him", only to get abused and robbed. And despite those experiences never leave them and sometimes even fondly remember them after they've left her.
I am not old-fashioned and not opposed to explicit sex in books, plays or films. But after having understood what this FSoG is about, I'm shocked. And do remember some good scenes, like Reuben Montoya and Abby Chastain in Lisa Jackson's "Shiver", which in its turn reminded me with pleasure of some extremely good sex in my "active" days :-)
There has been a long fight for women to be liberated, take initiative, be independent, make choices, make careers [to which I also count being a happy good wife and mother, IF that IS your choice], which is essential for the development of character, stamina and life-style.
There is nothing "sexy" about a sadist, a dominant chauvinist pig or even worse a narcissistic psychopath. And it's important to learn early on to recognise those dangerous men, who dominate and in the end damage, but steer away from them, not accept let alone idealise them :-(
In short – again – I completely agree and appreciate this and all other efforts you make to make the world a better place. Thank you.
Châtelaine
Amen, Chatelaine. You nailed it.
ReplyDeleteBTW, before someone goes there on this comment board, yes, I have suffered through reading all three books so I know exactly what they are about. First of all, they are all three horribly written and bored the hell out of me. I had to struggle through the dull story and endless unerotic sex scenes (I may never want to have sex again), and repetitive lines about Ana's inner goddess, her lip biting, and both of them rolling their eyes.
The first book has the most sex, so often you just think, oh, god, they are rutting again, ugh. Christian is creepy from the start and through all three books, I never found him to be the slightest sexy; he made my skin crawl. Ana, an innocent virgin who seems as dumb as a rock about the world around her for someone in the last year of college whose mother married five times, doesn't know jack about anything and doesn't even have an email account. She jumps right into a relationship with a man who tells her right up front he is a sadist and likes to bind and torture women, wants her to sign a contract to have sex with him, and stalks her. Run, girl, run. But, no, she goes ahead and screws him, throwing caution to the wind because he is SO HOT. She believes every word he says to her about his emotions towards her even thought they just met a day or two ago. She has her first experience with s/m and she is turned on by it (but, of course, she has limits which she so willfully makes Christian follow::rolls eyes::)
The second book has less sex though more experimentation with s/m which, of course, makes her have orgasm after orgasm (she never fails to have two or three each tryst...damn that Christian). But, the horrifying message of this book is that Ana can do with her love and fearlessness of staying with this scary man what his therapist couldn't do in years of therapy; change his personality disorder from sadistic sex predator to madly in love, willing to compromise, working hard to make his life better, opening up to her about his childhood trauma and having Ana fix it.
The final book, the one with such a boring story I wanted desperately to get to the end, simply has them getting married and having a child and all is happy, happy happy at the end. Ana's frog has turned into the ultimate prince. See girls? You CAN turn a sick sadist into a silk purse.
Droves of women are touting Christian as sexy and desirable and just LOVE how Ana used her strength to stand her ground and change the man. Everything we warm women about dangerous men is rip to shreds in this book and women are raving about how cool it is. Some will say it is just fantasy, but what they like about a fantasy involving a sick psychopath taking advantage of a young, naive, girl and that girl allowing herself to be humiliated, debased, and tortured for a hope of love and hot sex is a damnably sick message. And for every girl that might get magically lucky like Ana and have a happy ending to a relationship with a sadist, there are thousands who can tell you not running as fast as you can from a creepy bastard like Christian will cause you to have hell to pay in emotional and physical abuse and, possibly death.
Maybe Book Four of the Ana and Christian story will have Ana trying to figure out how to escape Christian with her little children after he reverts back to his true nature. Can you just see her fighting to leave that sadistic, manipulative man who has such power and money? Yeah, good luck and laters, baby.
I also have read both Marquis DeSade's works and The Story of O (and a bunch of other various books involving BDSM). What makes FSoG so much more dangerous than these two other famous books is the romantic story and happy ending. The Story of O may have a woman who is in love but she is basically terribly psychologically disturbed and is willing to allow her lover (later, lovers) to use her in any way they want and it makes her happy to sacrifice herself for their ultimate pleasure. This is a sick story about a sick woman and the sick men who use her. It is a titillating story for sadists to read. Likewise for the DeSade stories; they are about women being tortured for the pleasure of their master's. Their own pleasure is unimportant and, as a matter of fact, women GETTING pleasure ruins the whole damn point of s/m. If she is having a good time, the master is not doing enough to humiliate and torture her and THAT certainly is a waste of time, right, Sir?
ReplyDeleteWaw! I just saw the videos you uploaded on your facebook page. Yes, I totally agree: what a man :-)
ReplyDeletePS: I don't "do" Facebook [or Twitter], so can read but not comment over there.
Châtelaine
It is truly frightening to see some many women giddy over this total crap. I fear that none of them have ever had decent lovemaking in their lives so since they find these awful sex scenes exciting. And, I fear they crave romance and validation of themselves that they would sell their soul to the devil to get it. If they only had some good input as to what man would be worth it, what good sex was, and what true romance is, maybe they wouldn't fall for this garbage. Even if such perfect men and perfect lovemaking don't exist that often in real life or we have to have to accept something a bit less awesome, at least if we fantasize about something, it should be something worth wishing for, not lowing our fantasy level into the toilet.
ReplyDeleteHere are a few examples of what I think women might fantasize over (and I admit I am a big Shah Rukh Khan fan, so, yes, this is his stuff). These are the videos on FB Chatelaine is referring to.
Hot, sexy, and romantic? Should look more like this (ignore the comedy bits in the middle).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lC_FVbStbs0&feature=related
An example of a man who REALLY loves a woman and is the kind of man we should dream of? Check these film clips out.
The girl Raj just fell in love with turns out to have a fiance in Pakistan; check out his speech -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rrH0HLjjNY&feature=related
Total tearjerker! Aman's heart is failing. He falls in love with Naina (but doesn'tt ell her) who also falls for him, but he pretends he is married to Priya and pretends he is healthy but not interested (who is really his doctor) because he doesn't want to break Naina's heart when he dies. So he encourages her to marry Rohit, who also loves her. This is the scene when Naina finds out the truth. I dare you to watch it and not cry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6B6nPaw5LY&feature=related
I didn't cry at that one, but I did just now at what posted on facebook a couple of minutes ago:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur5B74k7BRg&feature=related
Châtelaine
The Story of O is a very coldly and well written book. It's the private present of a woman (her identity, a mystery, was revealed when she was 86) to the man she loved and hoped to seduce, Jean Paulhan. He had told her she wasn't capable to write such a book. She tried. This was not bound to be published but Paulhan insisted and he wrote a beautiful preface which dignifies it.
ReplyDeleteOne shade of grey: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150980589786941&set=a.329910036940.152949.98002816940&type=1&theater
ReplyDeleteWhy did the author name the violent, sexually deviant character "Christian"?
I was badgered into reading this book and only finished it because I was concerned about the main character. IT does worry me that teenagers will read this and think it is the norm to be treated like this. I have 2 sons which we are bringing up in a matriarch (hope that is spelt right) setting and to respect women also that relationships are about team work and honouring each other with respect and love. x
ReplyDeleteI just want to say that this is the perfect description of the Stockholm Syndrome from the victim's point of view. Sadly it has been turned into a fairy tale. And that is something that the story of O does not have so I dare say women will not be actually desperate to reading it. Perhaps the story of O is more similar to reality and that could put them off from sex forever instead of wanting more and more. There are serious reports from Spain and Mexico, where women have improved their sex life after reading this trilogy... I still wonder how is so?
ReplyDeleteHi just saying thanks and letting you know that upon the realease of this film soon i have been shamelessly spamming this link to your page to those who think this story titillating.
ReplyDeleteoh and this one
http://patbrownprofiling.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/criminal-profiling-topic-of
sorry meant this one!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.drjudithreisman.com/archives/2013/03/50_shades_of_gr.html