Wednesday, April 2, 2014

The Crime of Noah

Yes, I am talking about the movie directed by Darren Aronofsky....I am still trying to recover from my wounds the morning after (what an April Fool's joke that was!). Aronofsky should be charged with a crime against the masses....oh, I know it was just a movie, just entertainment...wait, that's just it, it was not entertaining in the least, it was just plain torture. Arrest the man (Aronfsky, not Noah).

Spoilers ahead! Please read anyway so you don't think you actually need to see this piece of crap.

Let's see, where can I start to dissect this piece of dung. Okay, let's start with the point that he is telling a Bible story. Yeah, so, under pressure Paramount decided to label the film "inspired" by the Bible story rather than being one, which ends up being accurate because Aronofsky not only took the artistic license to fill in the blanks (otherwise the movie would have been less than an hour - oh, that would have been a blessing) but he just plain out changed the story for reasons that really made no sense except he liked adding a really sick twist to the whole thing.

But, before I get into that, I just want to say this: what is wrong with telling a rich, faithful story? If you are going to tell a Biblical story, follow the Biblical story! And do so with great passion. You don't have to be a Christian or a Jew to appreciate a great story from that particular religious persuasion and even if you are a believer, you don't have to believe every detail (okay, you do if you are a die hard but that is a whole other issue) to appreciate the story and the sentiment. I just finished watching the Ramayana, the Indian epic that was over 80 episodes on YouTube (the Indian epic, The Mahabharata, is even longer) and I don't have to believe every supernatural event to enjoy immensely   the grand story and all the wisdom contained within. I am not a Christian, per se (okay, I am Hindu) and I have always found the story of Noah to be a bit peculiar and hard to understand, but I certainly can appreciate the faith of the man, to be in awe of his dedication to his God, that in the face of what had to be intense disbelief in his project and his sanity from both his family and any other human in the vicinity, he soldiered on for years, building his colossal boat.

Which brings me to my second point: what a massive amount of material for Aronofsky to work with but he didn't touch on any of that! Noah's family simply complied without question and he was so far from civilization that no one else questioned him. We really saw none of the despair Noah must have suffered through all those years leading up to the flood and really none of the despair while aboard the ark, nor none of the despair after he left the ark to start mankind over again (there were a few vague references to said despair but Aronofsky didn't waste time dealing with it). He was busy turning Noah into a psychopathic homicidal maniac who no longer follows God's (oh, excuse me, the "Creator's" will - we mustn't use the word "God" in this film because they didn't call him that back then....).

So, what drove Noah to want to kill off his granddaughters? Let me take you back through Aronfsky's convoluted illogical mess of a rewrite of the Biblical tale.

In the Bible, Noah enters into the ark with his wife and his three sons and their wives. In other words, four couples to keep renewing the earth and at least not require total incest to get things going again. But, Aronofsky decides to only let one older teenage son (the others appear to be young teenage and child) have a lady friend (Aronfsky's adopted daughter, so, maybe no biological incest, but incest just the same in my opinion - and any parent of an adopted child will tell you the thought of that child mating with one's biological child is gross). Actually, she is just his sister/girlfriend because they aren't actually married. And, Dad, sort of doesn't really think about them as having offspring because the girl is supposed to be barren. But, due to fairy magic, just when they are running toward the ark as the rain starts falling, the girl gets major horny and practically rapes bro in the woods.

The other teenage brother tries to bring a girl back to the ark - Ham, the bad boy - but Dad interferes during a human stampede and leaves the girl to get trampled on. Ham is mighty pissed because he figures he isn't going to get laid for eternity. Younger bro hasn't figured out yet he is going to be eunuch. I am not sure why adopted daughter can't screw them all, but I digress.

Anyhoo, somewhere about the time the doors close, Noah has some kind of mental meltdown and determines that humankind sucks so much, he will not allow his family to repopulate the earth. He is pretty sure all is good in that vain (I guess he can give up sex with wifey) but then he finds out his daughter is miraculously pregnant. Of course, he doesn't seem to think this is a sign from God, um...The Creator....so, he tells his family that if the young woman has a boy, she can keep it, but if it is a girl, he will kill it. Everyone is shocked and for nine months they all worry about the  sex of the baby. Now, let's not deal with logic here. If the girl got pregnant once, she can do it again, so instead of killing off all the babies, why not just knock off that girl? (And your still fertile wife while you are at it). But, no, we await the big day. The girl has two babies...two girl babies...so here comes Grandpa with a knife! And she stands there, waiting for him to stab the babies....where the hell is her brother/husband? Where are the other two boys? Where is her Mom? Oh, yeah, doing nothing. But, not to worry! At the last minute, Dad - again going his own way and not what he thinks is the Creator's (hah, got that right this time)...can't kill the girls because love overwhelmed his heart (eyeroll time).

And so the ark comes to dry land and the family disembarks. Now, instead of Noah's sons having sex with their wives, they stand around plotting how to screw sis-in-law or how many years they have to wait to do their nieces. Oh, wait, Ham saw his father naked and went wandering off to die in the wilderness alone, so only the youngest will get to bang the two babies (hopefully, when they at least can stand and speak).

There you have it. I didn't even get into the gigantic rock-angels who help build the ark and fight off the bad men and then returned to heaven having redeemed themselves. The worst of this whole movie is there wasn't a bit of spiritual wisdom shared. The television series, The Ramayana and The Mahabharata, both had very little action (and really cheesy war scenes with very early attempts at special effects) but, both series were fabulous because of the great scripts, incredible acting, the moral dilemmas, and the profound wisdom shared in each and every episode. Noah had nothing....absolutely nothing redeeming in the script (what script?), the characters, or the supposed spiritual message. The film was simply devoid of anything worthwhile...it wasn't a Bible story, it wasn't a sci-fi story, it wasn't a parable, it wasn't a story about ethics or morals, it just wasn't anything but a big, huge, soulless turd from Hollywood and I hope Aronofsky offers all moviegoers an apology for making that disaster...we deserve it.

Criminal Profiler Pat Brown

April 2, 2014

Monday, March 31, 2014

Andy Redwood, Scotland Yard, and Santa Claus

::sigh:: A lot of really nice people desperately want to believe that DCI Andy Redwood and Scotland Yard are about to shock the world with a brilliant check and mate that is going to see Kate and Gerry McCann led off in handcuffs, arrested for the death and disappearance of their daughter Madeleine McCann. In fact, they are so desperate for there to be a proper resolution to this case, they actually find sense in the twisted logic of some fellow who spends a good portion of his pro-Scotland Yard blog post slandering me and mocking my grammar abilities (he doesn't recognize a typo when he sees one...but, whatever). Normally, I don't respond to haters (especially if they have something useful to say outside of denigrating me)  but I want to respond to the Kool-Aid he is selling to hopeful folk who normally don't believe in fairy tales.

Yes, of course he (Redwood) is eliminating all other possibilities - that is his job and any scenario he overlooks and fails to eliminate could be used by the McCanns in any future trial to demonstrate police incompetence and could be part of their (undoubtedly extensive) defence.

BWAHAHAHA! 

Dude, it's NOT a British case! It doesn't matter what the heck Scotland Yard detectives do or don't do because it is not going to be an issue in a Portuguese court of law. Secondly, following solid evidentiary leads may well support a prosecutorial case as far as not leaving the door open for the defence to shed doubt on the police work, but ignoring all the evidence and spending a silly amount of time and money on totally unrelated leads is a sign of incompetence; the defence could completely destroy the detectives in court by pointing out that they clearly had so little viable evidence against the defendants that they found it necessary to follow-up on every ridiculous tip and possible alternative scenario.

The solution is determined from the evidence, not Pat Brown's rather less than exhaustive list of options.

I had commented that you can't eliminate every possible scenario because there can always be another ridiculous scenario someone can dream up that could be the cause for the disappearance of Madeleine McCann. So, this fellow is claiming here that it isn't about how many scenarios one can come up with but determining which scenario is correct from the evidence. Evidence? Ummm...yeah, that is the evidence from the apartment and the Tapas 9, so why would one need to eliminate a dozen scenarios to which the evidence does not point? Again, eliminating a whole bunch of scenarios is pointless because this means the detectives are not working FROM the crime scene evidence. In fact, all they are appearing to do is to be searching for that one scenario they can link BACK to the crime (confession, body on property, Maddie's clothing.etc,....but you can bet it will in the end just be confession or circumstantial evidence). This proves, yet again, Scotland Yard is indicating that they have already determined that evidence from the scene and the Tapas 9 has no validity.

Who says that they haven't reviewed the physical behavioural evidence from the crime scene?

Really? Didn't Redwood state that the McCanns are not suspects and that this was an abduction?

Yes, he did, so this could mean only one of two things: one, he is ignoring the evidence, or, two, he is lying about ignoring the evidence. It appears my detractor believes Redwood is telling a piles of lies in order to lull the McCanns into a sense of complacency and then, somehow, come up with enough evidence (from where?) to the arrest the duo....yeah, some awesomely clever police strategy that has no precedent in all of police investigative history.

Alright, let us take a look at how he is trying to trap the McCanns. 

He did a fake reconstruction on Crimewatch during which time he bolstered the McCanns' veracity by "proving" Tannerman to be real and not a kidnapper cooked up by Tapas 9 conspirators.

Ah, yes, you say, but, this now means Tannerman can't be Gerry's alibi! Redwood eliminated Gerry's alibi and then he focused right in on the guy seen by the Smith family, the one they say they think is Gerry. Doesn't that mean that Scotland Yard is cannily pointing to Gerry as the one seen carrying off a Maddie-like child at a time when he has no real alibi? 

Not at all. Think back to the statement by Redwood that the McCanns are not suspects and that this is an abduction. He is TELLING the world that the man the Smiths saw that looked like Gerry cannot possibly be Gerry, so don't call in any tips that would implicate Gerry McCann. If you saw that same man come out of the McCann flat and walk directly toward the point where the Smiths witnessed a man carrying a little girl, it doesn't matter because you will not be believed; you are a fabricator or a McCann hater; it is not Gerry, so don't say it is. Hence, right up front, Redwood has prevented any and all information that might have corroborated the Smith sighting as Gerry from being brought to their attention. Right there is massive proof the McCanns are not being considered in the mix. In fact, it is clear as a bell that Redwood is fishing for a look-alike that will clear Gerry, another version of Tannerman, a man carrying his kid home from some location near the McCanns' flat. It doesn't matter whether anyone really does call in with such a person; Scotland Yard can just say they have received information clearing Gerry just as they did with this supposed Tannerman bloke, the guy carrying his child in the wrong direction (toward rather than away from the creche).

All I see happening with these Scotland Yard shenanigans is an attempt to clear the McCanns bit by bit and, in the process, completely discredit the PJ by constantly pointing out that they did not conduct a thorough investigation, which is why Scotland Yard's investigators have to go back over ever bit of information and every lead (with the exception of the actual evidence); the PJ did NOT find Tannerman, they did not find the Gerry look-alike, they did NOT investigate Tractorman, Binman, the British pedophile, or those charity men.....the PJ simply failed to clear the McCanns properly and they failed to follow-up on the abduction theory with due diligence.

THIS is the reality of what is being played out. It is clear as a bell to me yet I feel a need to ring that bell one more time so folks can see that Santa Claus does not exist and neither does an honest Scotland Yard review. Our only hope lies in the PJ, that they decide to truly conduct their own investigation following the evidence and not the directives of politicians, that they decide truth and justice should prevail and not a myriad of agendas that have nothing to do with what really happened to Madeleine McCann i Praia da Luz on May 3, 2007.


Criminal Profiler Pat Brown

March 31, 2014




Profile of the Disappearance of Madeleine McCann available at Smashwords and Barnes and Noble.


 Cover for 'Profile of the Disappearance of Madeleine McCann'



By Pat Brown
Rating: 1 star1 star1 star1 star1 star
(5.00 based on 5 reviews)

Published: July 27, 2011

What really happened to Madeleine Beth McCann in Praia da Luz, Portugal in 2007? Was she abducted as the Gerry and Kate have claimed or did something happen to Madeleine on May 3 in the vacation apartment and the incident covered up? Criminal Profiler Pat Brown analyzes the evidence and takes the readers through the steps of profiling, developing a theory that is intriguing and controversial.





Tuesday, March 25, 2014

No, Andy Redwood and Scotland Yard are not Trying to Solve the Madeleine McCann Case



Today I want to address some of the questions I have received about what is going on with Scotland Yard's handling of the Madeleine McCann review and DCI Andy Redwood's public appearances sharing the Met's progress on the case, his disemination of information, and his outreach to the public for help.

Q) Is Redwood being a very clever fellow, eliminating all other possibilities one by one (thereby leaving what is left to be the real scenario) and then swooping in on the McCanns? Is he also trying to unnerve them in the process, part of his plan to get them to break down and confess?

A) I wish, but no. I find such investigative strategy hard to swallow or believe, especially since it is so public, so drawn out, and so expensive. First of all, presenting a myriad of possibilities that you actually cannot eliminate means you have not proved that one of them couldn't have happened. It could have been gypsies, it could have been a lone sex predator, it could have been a burglary gone bad with the accidental killing of a child, it could have been a sex ring posing as charity workers, it could have been some insane rich couple hiring a kidnapper to bring them a child of their choice, it could have been an Arab Sheik wishing to add a blonde child to his growing little girl harem, it could have been a psychotic man who thought Maddie was he beloved dead child come to life...and on and on. The only way you can really eliminate certain scenarios is to have absolute ones that can be disproved with evidence and even then, it doesn't prove that the most likely one left is in fact the correct one, it just that maybe you should spend more time focusing on that likelihood.

     Secondly, all this does is actually give the McCann's support for their theory that someone abducted Madeleine. Think about it: every time Redwood opens his mouth, he is proclaiming that abduction is the theory he is basing all his investigative  efforts on; he is reaffirming that the McCann's are not involved in the crime and there is no need to go back and reinvestigate any of the Tapas 9.

    And, finally, it makes no sense to spend millions to investigate pointless avenues when you simply can go straight to the evidence and put your efforts into reanalyzing  what is right in front of your face.

Q) Could the Algarve serial predator have taken Maddie?

A) Sure. I have always believed that if the McCanns were not involved in the disappearance of their daughter, then it was most likely, 99% most likely, that a lone local child sex predator grabbed her, sexually assaulted her, and murdered her within hours. Murat was not a bad suspect due to his somewhat odd behavior, his familiarity with the area, and the location of his mother's home just down the street. He was a great red herring and the police were not unreasonable in making him a suspect in the early days. And, no, Madeleine is not buried on his property.



Q) Since Andy Redwood just recently admitted that Madeleine might have died in the apartment, isn't  he giving credence to cadaver and blood dogs?

A) Not at all. He simply is "admitting" that Madeleine might not be alive, that she may have been killed during the commission of a crime - during sexual assault, abduction, or just to prevent her from screaming because she saw someone in the process of burglarizing the apartment. She would have been only dead for seconds or minutes in those scenarios and have left nothing for the dogs to hit on. Admitting this can eliminate the need to search for Maddie endlessly throughout the world and respond to the many future sightings that will surely pop up from time to time; one can lay blame on a tolerably believable dead or incarcerated suspect and put the case to rest because Maddie can no longer be rescued.

Q) What is the motive of Scotland Yard and Andy Redwood then? If Redwood does not have some brilliant plan to finally bring down the McCanns nor is he really going to catch a predator who abducted Maddie, what is this whole charade about?

A) Well, we are back to some bizarre political issues which I am unable to address. What is clear to me is the evidence still points to the McCanns, the "review" is a sham because even if Scotland Yard leaned away from the McCanns as being involved in the disappearance of their daughter, their incredible refusal to even review the physical and behavioral evidence from the crime scene and days following is astounding and unprofessional and is a standard procedure if to do no more than to clear the parents and search for overlooked clues. Likewise, their astonishing expenditures chasing foolish leads also makes little sense. Redwood's Crimewatch fabrication and his recent outreach to the public for more information on a suspect that already has been investigated by the PJ lead me to believe he is simply playing a part in the drama to which he has been assigned and, being a bit of a ham, he is actually enjoying the role.

It is my belief that Scotland Yard was set out on a mission, not one to find out what happened to Madeleine McCann but to rewrite the history of the case in such a way that the majority of the public simply forgets the past. We can see quite clearly that this plan is working for the media has overwhelmingly presented all the new theories and "developments' with enthusiasm. I have been around long enough to see this kind of game played out before, albeit in a bit milder form, and it works. Eventually, the truth gets buried and those that fight to keep it alive are labeled conspiracy theorists and nuts.

My only hope is that at least Gonçalo Amaral will win his day in court, that Portugal will somehow stand by the law and keep this avalanche of revisionist history from crushing truth and justice. I feel less then confident that the outcome will be what I wish and this whole episode will simply be sealed and delivered into history as the victors desire, but I still keep my fingers crossed for the smallest chance of a miracle.


Criminal Profiler Pat Brown

March 25, 2014



Profile of the Disappearance of Madeleine McCann available at Smashwords and Barnes and Noble.


 Cover for 'Profile of the Disappearance of Madeleine McCann'



By Pat Brown
Rating: 1 star1 star1 star1 star1 star
(5.00 based on 5 reviews)

Published: July 27, 2011

What really happened to Madeleine Beth McCann in Praia da Luz, Portugal in 2007? Was she abducted as the Gerry and Kate have claimed or did something happen to Madeleine on May 3 in the vacation apartment and the incident covered up? Criminal Profiler Pat Brown analyzes the evidence and takes the readers through the steps of profiling, developing a theory that is intriguing and controversial.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Bollux Media Interviews the Algarve Bogeyman

BREAKING NEWS!  Bollux media has located the Algarve Bogeyman and, over a cup of expresso and  a few smokes, the Algarve Bogeyman has come clean about his criminal activities

Suspect Shirt
Bollux: So, I notice you are wearing a shirt that is very similar to the one that Scotland Yard has released to the media! Don't you think that is a bit dangerous?

Algarve Bogeyman Shirt
AB: No, I am not worried. They can't arrest anyone over here in Portugal and after a few months have passed, they will be back looking for gypsies or burglars.

Bollux: You kind of look like a gypsy.

AB: Right, yeah, true. Well, they will be looking for a sex ring, then.

Bollux: A couple of times you weren't wearing any shirt at all! Were you worried at that time your shirt would be recognized.

AB: No, I was just washing it. Some of the little girls told me I was smelly.

Bollux: Ah, I understand. So, according to reports, you broke in to twelve vacation homes while the the parents were sleeping in the next room.

AB: No, I actually never broke in. Those British parents always leave their front doors unlocked, so I just walked in.

Bollux: And you sexually assaulted five of these children.

AB: Not really, I just sort of looked at them. Wouldn't you think there would have been a big deal made if I was raping little tourist girls in the Argarve?

Bollux: You spoke to some of the parents. Why?

AB: I wanted to practice my English.

Bollux: Is that why you only broke into....excuse me...accessed the flats of British families and not those of Swedes, Germans, or the Dutch?

AB: Sure, that makes sense.

Bollux: So, according to trusted media reports, you sexually assaulted those five girls between 2004 and 2006, maybe took Madeleine in 2007, and then went on breaking into apartments until 2010 but didn't molest any more little girls and then stopped.

AB: Okay.

Bollux: So, did you take Madeleine?

AB: Sort of. When I came through the open front door, I saw Maddie behind the sofa and I pulled her out. She was dead I don't like 'em dead. I got worried that because I had touched her that I could have left DNA and then be accused of killing her, so I picked her up and ran off with her. I dumped her in the back of the trash truck I work on.

Bollux: But, unlike the other crimes where you hit between 2 and 5 in the morning, this was in the evening. Why would you have a trash truck with you?

AB: Oh, right. Yeah, so I took Maddie down toward the beach and dumped her in the sea.

Bollux: The Smith family saw you? They sure got their description wrong.

AB: Well, you know how bad witnesses can be.

Bollux: True. So, what are your plans now that Scotland Yard is looking for you?

AB: I'm going to have another cup of coffee and a cigarette.


This nearly accurate and mostly truthful report was brought to you by Bollux Media and


Criminal Profiler Pat Brown

March 19, 2014




Profile of the Disappearance of Madeleine McCann available at Smashwords and Barnes and Noble.


 Cover for 'Profile of the Disappearance of Madeleine McCann'



By Pat Brown
Rating: 1 star1 star1 star1 star1 star
(5.00 based on 5 reviews)

Published: July 27, 2011

What really happened to Madeleine Beth McCann in Praia da Luz, Portugal in 2007? Was she abducted as the Gerry and Kate have claimed or did something happen to Madeleine on May 3 in the vacation apartment and the incident covered up? Criminal Profiler Pat Brown analyzes the evidence and takes the readers through the steps of profiling, developing a theory that is intriguing and controversial.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

When Even the McCanns Can't Take You Seriously

Please Report This Psycho Mom to Child Protection
A new "story" has appeared in those rags that call themselves "newspapers," that of a woman who almost had her little daughter kidnapped by gypsies in the Algarve. These poor excuses for journalism went ahead a printed a story so ridiculous, they should be ashamed of spreading tales of a lunatic, more correctly, a woman who exhibits "Munchausen Syndrome" - a psychiatric disorder in which a psychopathic female makes up stories of people doing things to her - stalking her, attacking her, raping her, etc. (sometimes it can be phony diseases assailing her but usually it is humans) - and, worse, this is a woman who exhibits "Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy" - the same disorder but the woman will claim these things are happening to her child (sometimes she privately abuses her child to give her symptoms) - this woman needs to be reported to social services, not given space in a "news" article.

Let me break down her story told most recently here in The Epoch Times:

Madeleine “Maddie” McCann has been missing since 2007 but now a mother is saying that a week after the child disappeared, kidnappers may have tried to take her child after restaurant staff spiked her drink in Algarve, Portugal.

A week after Maddie disappeared?  The gypsies already have gotten a child, police are swarming the area, but they then decide this is a good time to grab another child?

Oh, for God's sake, The Epoch Times can't even plagiarize from The Mirror properly.....it was six weeks before Maddie was kidnapped in a town thirty miles away in Albufiera. So, this was a failed kidnapping which the gypsies learned from and the employed better methodology by the time they struck in Praia da Luz.

The 30-year-old mother, who was not identified, told Scotland Yard investigators that “gypsy” restaurant staff members spiked her drink and then attempted to carry away her 1-year-old daughter to a car, reported The Mirror.

These gypsies decide to commit a kidnapping in full view of tourists and employees and the parent and grandparent of the child which is clearly so much easier than simply grabbing the child on a quiet street, tossing her in a car directly and driving off.

She said she told the Find Madeleine campaign of the incident but they were too busy.

Even the McCanns thought the story so stupid they couldn't even pretend to believe it. Actually, I am sure she never actually called the Find Madeleine campaign, but she had to say she gave some halfhearted attempt at some point in time to report a gang that steals children; otherwise, it would seem she didn't care about any children but her own and that would be narcissistic.

 Police in the U.K. are now reportedly set to interview the woman in the hopes that it will reveal more about the McCann case.

Probably just the highly qualified "journalist" saying this, but considering the other great "leads" being followed by Scotland Yard, maybe it is actually true.


“It was terrifying, like something out of a film,” she told the Daily Record. “From the first day of the holiday, a young dark-haired man kept popping up wherever we went. We would arrive at a restaurant and he’d show up minutes later as though he had been tipped off.
She added: “It was low season so everywhere was quiet. There were about three or four restaurants open but the same staff would show up where we were. They all knew the dark-haired man. It felt like the Eastern European mafia was watching us.”

I am sure it was out of a film, the one she was creating in her head. The woman should avoid becoming a screenwriter. Let's see.....every place she goes she sees the same guy....I guess he has no clue how to tail someone and not be seen doing it....send him back to spy school....and then the same staff would show up in all the restaurants she ate in.....this is a heck of a coordinated effort between all those establishments....they had to switch out the regular  waiters for their spies every time this woman and her kid get hungry. The woman says it felt like the whole of the Eastern European mafia (are they gypsies?) were watching her......ah, such grandiosity! Doesn't she wish.......


“On the third night the man walked up to us, and chatted to us – but all about my daughter. He was obsessed, playing with her, stroking her hair. It was very over-familiar. He kept touching her and commenting on her blonde hair.”
She said the man was about 25, adding that her mother said that it’s not usual for a young man to be so interested in children.
“There was a middle-aged couple who had served us before at another place. They were all over my daughter,” she told the Mirror. “They told me they missed their children in Uzbekistan and begged me to let them hold her.”

People being friendly are terribly suspicious. Let me remember that the next time I say, "Oh, your baby is so cute!" I will be led away in handcuffs.

She was served a drink, which she claims was spiked with a drug.
“Within half an hour I felt really dizzy,” she said. “I knew I’d been drugged. It was only us in the restaurant and I felt vulnerable. I stood up and told mum we had to leave. As I did, the woman lifted my daughter out of her high chair and walked to the door.”
She managed to grab her daughter and run off.

I guess they didn't have enough Rohypnol to spike Grandma's drink, too, and did so bad a job of spiking Mom's that she still had the strength to pull the child out of the strong gypsy kidnapper's hands just prior to being run out to that idling waiting car. What a woman! She single-handedly saved her daughter from a horrible fate.

Then she didn't bother to report it to Portuguese police. Well, you know, she probably didn't think of the story until after she got home....I mean until now.......now, that really stupid journalists are willing to print ludicrous stories from psychos.



Criminal Profiler Pat Brown

February 12, 2014



Profile of the Disappearance of Madeleine McCann available at Smashwords and Barnes and Noble.


 Cover for 'Profile of the Disappearance of Madeleine McCann'



By Pat Brown
Rating: 1 star1 star1 star1 star1 star
(5.00 based on 5 reviews)

Published: July 27, 2011

What really happened to Madeleine Beth McCann in Praia da Luz, Portugal in 2007? Was she abducted as the Gerry and Kate have claimed or did something happen to Madeleine on May 3 in the vacation apartment and the incident covered up? Criminal Profiler Pat Brown analyzes the evidence and takes the readers through the steps of profiling, developing a theory that is intriguing and controversial.


Thursday, January 30, 2014

One Dead Child: One Check for 10,000 Euros

Reservoir Dogs
Bollux Media has just intercepted a phone call between Detective Chief Inspector  Andy Redwood of Scotland Yard and Portuguese authorities and astounding information was gleaned from the conversation.

What Bollux Media knows now, knows for sure, knows unquestionably, is the following:

Scotland Yard would like the bank records of the three burglars (ex-Ocean Club employees) for the days following the disappearance of little Madeleine McCann and they want to search the apartments of these three burglars as well.

Firstly, they are hoping to find Madeleine's clothing still in the hamper....well, you know, men are slow about getting the wash done or throwing out the trash.

Secondly, Scotland Yard wishes to bring in cadaver dogs because Madeleine clearly had to be dead to be carried so listlessly through the streets of Praia da Luz (the burglars would have had no time to drug the child). But, anyway, if the dogs hit on cadaverine in one of the apartments or cars of the burglar suspects, those dogs can be trusted, unlike those incompetent canines that alerted at the McCann's apartment and car.

Thirdly, Andy Redwood is hoping to find a large transaction in the bank accounts of one of the burglars that would prove they sold the dead child.....wait, that doesn't make much sense.

Okay, so if the McCanns admit they drugged their kids, then the burglars could have taken a live child from the flat and sold that live child to some sex ring or to some lonely couple that they just happen to knowledge of even though they never had stolen a child before and didn't plan to steal one that night. You know, criminals have all kinds of connections for emergencies like this and they also don't think about getting cash for their stolen goods or keeping such money hidden; they ask for a check or immediately deposit big sums of money in their bank accounts. Right, and......

....... and, anyway, those leads are really hot.

This report brought to you by Bollux Media and


Criminal Profiler Pat Brown

January 30, 2014





Profile of the Disappearance of Madeleine McCann available at Smashwords and Barnes and Noble.


 Cover for 'Profile of the Disappearance of Madeleine McCann'



By Pat Brown
Rating: 1 star1 star1 star1 star1 star
(5.00 based on 5 reviews)

Published: July 27, 2011

What really happened to Madeleine Beth McCann in Praia da Luz, Portugal in 2007? Was she abducted as the Gerry and Kate have claimed or did something happen to Madeleine on May 3 in the vacation apartment and the incident covered up? Criminal Profiler Pat Brown analyzes the evidence and takes the readers through the steps of profiling, developing a theory that is intriguing and controversial.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

We want to Interview Three Burglars; We REALLY want to Interview Three Burglars

We have breaking news from Bollux Media. Portuguese authorities have touched the envelope in which there is a request from Scotland Yard to allow them to interview three Praia da Luz burglars who were in the town on the night of Madeleine McCann's disappearance and made a flurry of phone calls in the hours following the child going missing. Bollux Media will keep on top of the progress of the letter and as soon as the Portuguese authorities open the envelope, we will disseminate this valuable information to all the media outlets so they can immediately inform the public of this vastly important progress in Scotland Yard's investigation into what happened to little Madeleine McCann.

While we await the next huge advance in Scotland Yard's multimillion pound review of the one and only missing child in the world that matters, Bollux Media was able to land an exclusive interview with Chief Inspector Andy Redwood of Scotland Yard who is on the  very secretive road to breaking this case. He has asked us not to use his name in this interview so he will be identified in this article as "Unidentifed Source." We met in a small pub at noon somewhere in the middle of London right across the street from Scotland Yard

BM: Mr. Unidentified Source, we know you are attempting to move in on three new suspects in the Madeleine McCann case, three men who clearly thought they had gotten away with a crime six years ago.

US: THAT IS RIGHT!!!! THE PJ NEVER INTERVIEWED THEM BUT NOW WE ARE GOING TO SWOOP IN ON THESE THREE MEN AND SHOCK THEM WITH OUR DISCOVERY!!!

BM: That is fantastic, US. Do you think your interviews will get them to give up information about what they did with Madeleine?

US: YOU BET THEY WILL!! THEY WILL BE SO STUNNED WHEN WE SHOW UP, THEY WILL SPILL THE BEANS! WE WILL INTERVIEW EACH OF THESE MEN SEPARATELY SO THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GET THEIR STORIES STRAIGHT!

BM: Do you think they have a clue that you know who they are?

US: ABSOLUTELY NOT!! THESE THREE BURGLARS WHO WERE IN PRAIA DA LUZ ON MAY 3, 2007 AND MADE A BUNCH OF PHONE CALLS AFTER 10 PM, HAVE NO IDEA THEY HAVE BEEN DISCOVERED BY THEIR CELL PHONE RECORDS!!

BM: That's just fantastic police work, US. Do you think they will be physical evidence after all this time?

US: SOME EVIDENCE WILL STILL BE THERE OVER THE YEARS IN THEIR POSSESSION AND WHEN WE GO IN TO ARREST THEM, THEY WON'T HAVE TIME TO GET RID OF IT!!

BM: Well, thanks for the interview, Mr. US. We will be waiting to hear about the imminent arrests of these three burglars in Portugal and the closure of this sad, unsolved case.

US: YOU ARE WELCOME, BM. NOW, I HAVE TO  GO BACK TO WORK. PLEASE WALK IN FRONT OF ME SO THAT CLARENCE MITCHELL DOESN'T SEE ME ON OUR WAY OUT.

This exclusive report and interview brought to you by Bollux Media and


Criminal Profiler Pat Brown

January 26,2014



Profile of the Disappearance of Madeleine McCann available at Smashwords and Barnes and Noble.


 Cover for 'Profile of the Disappearance of Madeleine McCann'



By Pat Brown
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(5.00 based on 5 reviews)

Published: July 27, 2011

What really happened to Madeleine Beth McCann in Praia da Luz, Portugal in 2007? Was she abducted as the Gerry and Kate have claimed or did something happen to Madeleine on May 3 in the vacation apartment and the incident covered up? Criminal Profiler Pat Brown analyzes the evidence and takes the readers through the steps of profiling, developing a theory that is intriguing and controversial.