Five days later, Michelle is found dead in her apartment; her supposedly ex-boyfriend has been charged with the crime. Fortunately, the children were not home at the time and so at least they weren't murdered as well. Interestingly, I have read nothing of a break-in or any phone call to the police (Michelle actually FB'd that calling the police would be worthless because she would be dead before they got there), so one wonders if she opened the door yet again to this man.
I know some people will simply say that women in abusive relationships don't get enough help and that they often don't press charges or testify against their abusers out of fear or emotional ties. But, here is the thing which I keep harping on. While it is true that we all are fallible human beings and we sometimes make dumb choices and dumb mistakes, I urge women, and men, but especially women who are on the receiving end of the most violent abuse (as well as their children), to put their children or future children first. No one becomes a parent by accident. You have to participate in sex, in unprotected or careless sex, you have to chose not to have an abortion or choose not to give your child up for adoption. If you are going to bang away with some questionable character, make damned sure you don't bring his kid into the world and put that child in danger. If you already have a child with a decent man, don't bang away with some new questionable character and put THAT child's life in danger. To put it simply, don't bang some questionable character and put your own life in danger leaving your children without a mother.
I am about to become a grandmother and I will be living right next door to my new granddaughter. Guess who is not coming through my door? Some questionable character that I want to snuggle up with so I can get my rocks off. For that matter, I have been divorced for ten years and I am sticking to a promise I made to myself to not inflict some less-than-quality character into my children and grandchildren's lives. I chose to have children and from that moment on, I have had to put them first. I am not saying that I should never have a romantic relationship but that I must consider how that relationship affects my children. If I bring a creep into my life, I would surely hope my children would have the sense to take my grandchildren out of mine.
We won't die if we don't have sex or love every moment of our lives. Sometimes we have to wait for the right person or the right time because, if we really love and care for our children, we won't choose an adult over them and we won't have our own wants be more important than the safety and happiness of our own children or any other children we have in our lives.
Criminal Profiler Pat Brown
December 31, 2013