Saturday, February 24, 2007

Profiling Topic of the Day: Anna Nicole Smith and the Flies Buzzing Around Her

Okay, if I have to say something as a criminal profiler about Anna Nicole Smith’s circus and the clowns in the show (the freak of a judge, "woe is me" Larry Seidlin, the creepy "ployfriend" Howard K. Stern, the "obviously I don't know what a condom is", Larry Dickhead - oh, I am sorry, Birkhead - the "now she cares mother-of-the-ho" Virgie Arthur, and Zsa Zsa's "boytoywannabeAnna'snextoldmantoy" Fredric von Anhalt, (take a deep breath) I will. I feel hardly any sympathy for anyone involved. I guess that might make me coldhearted, but if I have to spend my emotional energy feeling sadness for someone, it will be for the innocent victims of crime and war, not for this irresponsible, drug using, manipulative embarrassing representation of the female sex and the equally morally and ethically challenged relatives, friends, lawyers and judges in the ring with her. The only one at this point I feel sorry for is the baby who is no doubt going to be stuck with one of the bozos of Anna Nicole’s bedroom trysts and raised as a sideshow act, albeit a rich sideshow act. Anna Nicole lived a sleazy life and died a sleazy death and she has no one to blame for her choices but herself. She lived the way she wanted and she died the way she expected. Whether by her hand or someone else’s, the old adage “if you live by the sword, you die by the sword” is an appropriate way of viewing Smith's life and death. The only question left standing in my book is a matter of whether a crime has been committed. Now, if one has committed a crime against Anna Nicole and/or her son or dealt drugs to them, then we need to get a killer or drug dealer off the street. I will, I admit, be curious to know what Anna Nicole died from. Her symptoms resemble an overdose of the illegal drug PMA (paramethoxyamphetemine), a deadlier form of Ecstasy popular in the Florida nightclub scene. Taking too much of the stuff will cause an increased heart rate, raised blood pressure, and an escalating body temperature and then the user may have difficulty breathing, start vomiting, run a temperature as high as 108 degrees, go into a coma, and die. Kind of sounds like the last hours of Anna Nicole’s life but we will have to wait and see what the toxicology report has to say.

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