Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Criminal Profiling Topic of the Day: A Blanket or a Suitcase? Name Two Items used to Transport a Body

The trouble with crimes that are not premeditated is that you often end up with a body you would like other people (read: the cops) not to find for a while. If you are camping when you strangle your wife to death, she can always end up in a ravine, but if you knock her off at home, boy, do you have a problem! If you think you can stage the crime as a stranger murder, well, then you can leave her in the house, sneak off, and come back another day to accidentally find her body (usually you coincidentally have a neighbor with you so you have a witness to your shock and horror at "discovering" her body- that is if you don't send the neighbor in first).

Of course, if there is going to be no question as to who killed the woman, well then, you will just have to move the body. This goes to prove why, if you are going to get into a relationship with someone you might off someday, you should pick a woman with a home (or move her into one) that is isolated and a single family dwelling. Then, all you need is a blanket and you can toss her into your trunk and drive her out to the countryside.

But, heaven forbid, you rent an apartment like the lover of Amy Giordano did! Her married lover (and father of her 11-month-old), Rosario DiGirolamo, found out what a mistake he made when he "allegedly" did her in June 7, 2007. How do you get the body down the stairs or the elevator and past any security or cameras? Yes, a very large suitcase is the only answer. Very large or you have to dismember the body in the bathtub and oh, what a chore that is. We haven't found out if poor Rosario had to go to those lengths as the suitcase with the body was just hauled out of the pond in New Jersey.

The other problem is actually moving the body. It helps if you are big and the woman is small and you don't have to haul her too far. DiGirolamo apparently had to enlist the help of his best friend who won't qualify for that status now that he has ratted Rosario out.

The moral of this immoral story is: if you are a psychopath and don't know what kind of trouble you are going to get yourself in, pick relationships with tiny women in isolated locations who live on the first floor of a detached dwelling. You can save yourself a lot of trouble.

Criminal Profiler Pat Brown

4 comments:

Inspector Winship said...

Sometimes your cool, dry wit worries me. How would you have gone about killing your father and stepmother in 1892 I wonder?

Pat Brown said...

Ah, but there is hidden rage at glorifying killers behind that sarcastic humor....and rage at our court system for allowing so much foolishness in getting them off. Russo's lawyer (Russo is the best friend of DiGirolamo)told Nancy Grace last night that he couldn't tell us if his his client's info led to finding Amy's body, only that his client had talked to the police and the next day they went to a specific area of a pond in the woods in northern Jersey ::rolls eyes:: Why not just not come on television if you are going to play silly word games like this? If you can't talk about the case, stay home.

As to my father and stepfather in my last life in 1892, I didn't know I was that annoyed with them. Am I being offered good money to knock them off?

Inspector Winship said...

That was my attempt at dry wit. I threw a gutterball I guess :) I don't know how annoyed Lizzy Borden was but she was certainly peeved about something.

Preraphazon said...

This story reminds me of Ira Einhorn, the biker who stuffed his girlfriend's body in a trunk left in his Philadelphia home and then took exile in France, who refused to give him back for some years. I'm not sure he ever did get back. I know in 2000, France said they'd let him go, but he was still fighting it.

A few years ago in Texas, a guy put the body in one of those small storage closets just outside the apartment and he wasn't caught until it started stinking. These guys aren't exactly ingenious.