Friday, June 15, 2012

Criminal Profiling Topic of the Day: The War against Women by Women

I remember the days in the 1970s when I dressed like Gloria Steinem, wearing Bobby Brooks suits and big sunglasses, I thought I was the picture of feminism. Then, I got married and was an earth mommy and felt I was the picture of womanliness. I may have actually not been quite as feminist or earth motherly as I aspired to be at the time but the one thing I felt at both times was a kinship with other women in a variety of circumstances. I wanted other women to have fulfilling lives whether it be in careers, relationships, the single life, marriage, motherhood, or education. And, I feel women are becoming more and more vicious towards each other and more supportive of women's roles as victims than as proactive fighters for the best that they can be in all walks of life. They are turning against themselves and their natures and blaming chemistry or their bodies or psychologies or each other for their dissatisfaction and disappointment in life instead of the inequity of the system, lack of proper support by our communities, and our culture failing to stand up for proper treatment of women  (and men and children). We have gone from oppressed to depressed and accepted our lot in life as chemically and sexually imbalanced, drugging ourselves into the next day.

What the hell happened to us?

What has happened is, we have shifted too much of the blame on ourselves, oddly  by submitting to the old-fashioned concept of the emotionally and physically fragile female, giving up our strength, making ourselves dependent on something or someone else.

I went ballistic recently over Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey because both have "heroines" with zero strength in themselves; if they had any backbone, they would have told their creepy stalkers to buzz off. They would have applied themselves in their careers, they would have enjoyed the company of good family and friendships, they would have waited patiently for a good boyfriend/husband that respected them from the start and admired who they were, not just that they were willing to submit to them.

Why don't we write about and promote women who strive to achieve, both in the work world and in the personal world? Why don't we fight to support each other in choosing good mates and good relationships, encouraging each other in striving for the best in creating our families and raising our children? Why don't we stress kindness in marriage, dignity, respect, and not cheating on each other? Why do any women have sex with married men knowing they are helping to destroy another woman's family?  Why don't we cheer when other women break through that iron ceiling, achieve in a still man's world, manage to have an opportunity to be both a mother and a businesswomen, either at the same time or consecutively? What is wrong with women these days that we don't hold each others' hands and put our arms around each others' waists and help ourselves climb these hills? Why do we just accept victimhood, take drugs to mask the pain, and give up our lives to the naysayers?

We all will run into roadblocks and not always have great circumstances along the way. I haven't had a perfect life and neither will you or Bella or Ana but for goodness sake, do we have to drag ourselves into the mud and believe that we can't help but be there? Do we have to humiliate ourselves by wimping out, degrading ourselves in bed, in relationships, and at work, or by selling out our sisters?

Fifty Shades of Grey depresses the hell out of me, because a woman supposedly wrote it, but more that women think it is such a cool book. I started to throw up the first time Christian disrespected Ana and then read in total disgust as he did it over and over again and she came back for more. But, I guess it was okay because that total virgin had three orgasms the first time having sex because Christian is such a fine lover....please give me a barf bag. Christian is not hot; he is creepy right from the start and the fact women do not seem to recognize this is very, very sad. I suppose it is because Christian is megarich because if he worked at Petsmart in the story, Ana would have called the cops on him.

Please, ladies, rise up again! Don't lower yourselves into a gutter with psychopaths like Christian. In real life, his behavior is called domestic abuse; he will end up degrading, abusing, and manipulating you, and, possibly, throwing acid in your face or killing you if you try to leave him. You cannot fix a psychopath - regardless of what childhood woes made him one - and at the first sign of disrespect you should run like hell.

Being submissive in sex and in life is stepping back into the ancient past and shouldn't be confused with allowing someone with skill and respect to take the reins when it is useful for them to do so at work or at home; that is why we have management and people who oversee specific things. Labor can be divided with respect to both parties, in employment and in marriage. Even sex can be led by one or the other at times as long as neither is being degraded or humiliated while doing so. Whatever someone does with you or you with them should make them feel good about themselves; anything else means someone is the master and someone is a slave and the slave always loses.

Criminal Profiler Pat Brown

 May 15, 2012

Harkening back to the writing styles of the earlier American authors – John Steinbeck, Harper Lee, and Carson McCullers, "Only the Truth" is a story of soul searching, a psychological mystery which examines the question, “Whom should one love and when should one quit doing so?” Billy Ray, a lonely and rather slow, uneducated African-American man living in the mountains of Arkansas, runs across a mysterious young woman at the railroad tracks. She asks to go home with him and Billy Ray takes her with him as she requests. He comes to love this woman, Charlene, unconditionally. She is the only woman he has ever loved, and life is finally good for Billy Ray. Then Charlene shoots the neighbor and burns down the neighbor’s house. His happy life destroyed, a confused and devastated Billy Ray is at a loss. Is the woman he loves “just a troubled girl” or a psychopathic killer? Billy Ray sets out on a quest to find the truth, only the truth, whether it leads him to be able to save Charlene from a death sentence or it frees him from her spell.


Anonymous said...

You actually made me want to read/see this to judge for myself, if it is this bad ... ;-)

I have, however, to agree with you totally and completely: women have to be independent and this independence does allow us to make the choices.

I was born in the 40's, grew up in the 50's, embraced liberation in the 60's, developed in the 70's and 80's and am now still enjoying a good life, without dependence on anyone in the 21st century. I do have loved ones, family, friends and my own.

If ever you come to the continent again: do drop by: we may have things to share :-D

at the French château

Anonymous said...

You're putting real life into a fictional book.. Well according to your book a female all by herself goes with a stranger who she knows nothing about and that's ok? Would you recommend that in real life? What's the difference of your "troubled girl" and Christian? Well Christian didn't kill anyone.

Pat Brown said...

Billy Ray is slow and innocent. And Charlene is not presented as cool or hot or someone to strive to be with. I never said she should go with Billy Ray. And everyone warned Billy Ray that something is wrong with her. And I don't included hard core porn.

Christian is an outright psychopath, a sadist, and they don't change. Ana is in a very sick relationship with him and she ought to flee before she ends up dead...if the author was for real, the fourth book would have her dead and dumped down a mine.

Pat Brown said...

And, by that thinking, all hard core sadistic porn portraying women being tortured and abused and debased is just fun stuff that we should encourage all high school and college age girls to view; it won't affect them. Oh, and young men as shouldn't cloud their fine attitude toward women and making love. It's not real life!! It's fantasy!

Anonymous said...

Have you read the books? He doesn't do what Anna doesn't want him to. He only ties her up when she asks. He doesn't make her do anything she doesn't want to. And the do have strictly "vanilla sex"

Anonymous said...

Well said! I am about your age. I remember certain things from our youth. How rape victims were often portrayed as "asking for it", not to ask for equal pay because that man was "raising a family" or how women should try to put their attention on helping their man succeed in the business world. I thought a lot of this has changed. Not exactly.
Besides popular culture, there has been an eroding of women's rights lately in many ways, especially in Arizona and a few other states. We cannot let anything slip backward because it was too hard to obtain the first time.
It does amaze me that women still feel they have to mold themselves into something else in order to have a relationship. Women do not have to be strident about their rights but they do need to have healthy boundaries.

Pat Brown said...

Anonymous 8:22

The man likes to HURT women; what part about being a sadistic psychopath do you not get? It doesn't matter if "she asked for it" or "allowed it" because no kindhearted, loving, nonsadist would cause pain to another human being regardless of the circumstances. It would be repugnant for them to do so and they would realize the woman had some psychological problems herself to allow it or ask for it, so he would refuse and get her help.

This book is nothing more than traditional sadistic porn, the only twist, the sickening one, is to make it exciting and acceptable to young women.

su said...

I agree with you.
Every woman I know who has taken up with a guy like Christian has landed up diminished, violated and wounded.

We strive for intimacy but we have this mega sex corporation selling us more and more deprivation.

Don't buy it. It cannot satisfy.

Anonymous said...

Whilst looking for some additional information the the Grey Shade book[s] I stumbled upon this site. In the US you may be aware, but it was a complete surprise to me :-)


Anonymous said...

Pat, you really made me laugh with your description of the 50 Shades books, in so far as it's funny at all. I can't believe they get married and have a child at the end, it just sounds pathetic. The worst of it is, I bet every dangerous psycopath is rubbing his hands together with glee right now. Unbelievable.

Anonymous said...

Having read what you have to say here I am reminded of two horrific cases here in the uk. The first was a woman blinded by her violent partner and the second, a woman who brought her sadist boyfriend to live with her and her children,within months he had killed her baby son. In both these awful cases the women thought that their boyfriend was cool to begin with despite all the evidence to the contrary.